please (don’t) accept this rose.

I’m a 24 year old woman. I have an excellent education. I rather read “the great gatsby” than (most) any piece of chick lit, and I prefer good conversation to a long walk on the beach. WHY is it then, that every Monday night I find myself drawn to watching an unconfident, yet very pretty girl take average guys on group dates where they do things like faux Japanese boxing, planned not by the Bachelorette but by ABC? I mean honestly, the said Bachelorette spends an estimated 40% of each episode crying about some dope that left the show because he didn’t want her and the other 60% pretending to seem interested in the guys chosen for her by ABC. And honestly, how am I to believe that it’s that easy to fall in love and be ready for marriage, no less, after a mere 6 weeks? It’s stuff like this that makes confident girls like us doubt the whole process – I mean, if it’s that easy, then why are our own love lives so complicated?
Ladies, we must pull it together. Sure, watch the 2 hours of ups and downs with your host Chris Harrison, but please don’t let all the ridiculousness seep into your subconscious. We have got to stop thinking that love is something that just magically happens and is often easier if you are far removed from friends and loved ones halfway across the world. You don’t have to go all the way to Hong Kong to figure out if he’s worth your time! Relationships can be wonderful and just what we want or need at the time, but it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. Let’s face it, relationships, when you really start to care, are messy and don’t come with background music… people change their minds and sometimes the bachelor turns out to be not too eligible, and you can’t do a damn thing to change the way things are. It’s real life – there are no cameras and there are no confessionals. It’s just you and the other guy, or guys, trying to figure out if the feelings are in fact real and whether or not the love is worth the inevitable roller coaster.
My point is this: watch, laugh, pick your favorite dopes…but PUULEASE do not start thinking like abc reality tv execs wants you to think. As for me and my house, I rather meet my eligible bachelor at Twin Kegs than on a “fantasy date” in the middle of a fountain in Vegas. Sure, sweep me off my feet, but spare me the small talk and let’s have some real conversation about things that actually matter. As for the roses, save them for a day when you want to send me a dozen, just because, and you’ll be my favorite. Bonus points if they are not delivered by Chris Harrison.

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