all kenny wants for christmas.

1. To kiss Tim Tebow. Do I find him superhumanly attractive? Not really, but I would love to enrage every conservative Christian girl in America.

2. John Hamm.

3. A male seahorse in an aquatic tank.

4. Sushi delivered to my door, everyday, for the rest of my life. (Not at all related to #3)

5. Tickets to see Jay-Z and Kanye. I will watch that throne.

6. An attractive male to pump my gas for me, for life.

7. A big ole’ cat, only to torture a particular friend of mine.

8. A ticket to Neverland Ranch, including airfare and an automated tour.

9. A face tattoo. I’m thinking a star of some sort, but I’m open to suggestions.

10. To be blonde for the day, ONE DAY, just to see how frightening I look and naturally, to see if they really do have more fun.

11. To be inside a fabulous Grey Goose commercial. Come on! They look like they’re having so much fun!

12. John Hamm.

13. To lunch with Zooey Deschanel, my (female) bangs twin.

14. To meet the guy who blogs under the twitter alias, Men’s Humor. It is highly possible that we are in fact soul mates.

15. To host SNL. Musical guest? HANSON. John Hamm would obviously be in every sketch. He’s funny, right? Santa, make it happen.

16. Access to Perez Hilton’s blackberry. I would get Chace Crawford’s number in 2.5.

17. To run into either member of the Black Keys around town. Dibs on Beardy.

18. Dinner with the Obamas. I, of course, would sit at the kids table with Malia and Sasha.

19. To speak at the Freed Hardeman Benefit Dinner. Um, they had Cal Ripken Jr. so I think I have a pretty good shot.

20. To retire. Next year.

Wishing you and your’s a very Merry Christmakkuh,

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