THINGS FOUR WELL-EDUCATED WOMEN SAID WHILST WATCHING YET ANOTHER EPISODE OF THE BACHELOR.

They have the same part.
Chris Harrison is probably already on the island, floating and reading People.
The divorce isn’t final from her wife.
An eating disorder? Tell me something new.
He’s dead in the eyes.
His inner thigh! Nothing about that is attractive.
Do not make them get in the river.
They’ve photo shopped the camera man who is actually driving the boat.
Natives!
Yeah, I don’t think they speak like, American Spanish, like, yeah.
He looks like Kelly Kapowski’s father, no grandfather.
Look how white his inner thighs are!
After seeing that, I never want to be with a man again.
Even her laugh sucks.
Love her. Hate her foundation.
Turn the beat around, son.
Are they rubbing cheeks or are they kissing?
Do you have anything of value to say?
King Douchelord.
The close-up of her eyebrows is just as disturbing as her personality.
Oh my Bathsheba status.
Two on ones are the worst.
Who’s the Chief? Obama? You’re with Barack?
Cheesy hash browns.
Q: Is that a silk shirt? A: No it’s linen, poly-cotton at best.
Don’t mind us, just changing each other’s tampons!
Ew, he had his tongue out way before she even leaned it.
Q: Why must he always wear those gay flip-flops? A: Because it matches his hair, which sucks.
#daddy issues
…And by model she means pole dancer.
YOU’RE THE MOST INSECURE PERSON I’VE EVER SEEN!
That dress looks like a carnation blew up!
Where did her country accent come from? She’s from Brooklyn.
Annnnnd Resort Wear 2010.
He’s just terrible.
Good hair attracts good hair. She needs to take her locks of love and run.
Who from ABC brought her all those magazines to use for her scrapbook?
Thanks for that close-up of the homeless cat.
Stop crying, you have an entire harem waiting for you.
She doesn’t need to get married, she needs a therapist.
She’s damaged goods, I’m over it.
Why is she playing with his pinkie?
He just said, “Do you want my mouth closed or open?” I can’t watch any further.

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