"chicken’s aren’t gay, " kenna says.

This is Kenna. 
Kenna has loved Chick Fil A since she was a wee one, but today’s hysteria has caused her much distress. She has begun to rethink everything she has ever known about chicken, and social media in general. Why did the chicken cross the road? Was it in fact wearing a glitter tank? 
Below are her thoughts on Chick Fil A, chicken and all the unnecessary hysteria surrounding it all. Please note: these comments were recorded in real time – trust me, she talks entirely too fast – and no chicken, or Chick Fil A employee, were harmed in the creation of this piece of greatness. 
Talk chick get hit.
August 1st – First homeschool field trip of the year. “Come on guys, get in the van!” As little Jedidiah orders a Genesis number 2. 
Chickens are not gay. Chickens are not straight. They’re just chickens. 
Last time I checked, standing in line for a number 4 was not news-worthy. 
For those of you who want to do some spring cleaning on Facebook, here’s your perfect time. It’s like all the beta fish feeding on opinions and chicken nuggets. 
Opinions are like ***holes, everybody has one. 
You’re going to block out an entire day to eat double your calorie count on fried foods and polynesian sauce? Really?
I haven’t seen a craze like this since the beanie baby fad of 95′.
I hope Chick Fil A’s everywhere adjusted their sales plan for today’s traffic. 
For those of you who still have brain cells left, stop talking about the chicken. 
Those kids worked for their $7.35 an hour today. 
(After reading her 15th ridiculous FB post) “I’m going to get a double down. Now.”
Let’s stop talking about Chick Fil A and focus on more important things, like the wonder that is Ryan Lochte and the entire US Men’s Swim Team. 
You’re welcome. 

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