So last night the President and Mr. Republican were apart of yet another
civilized and meaningful debate. If you watched the debate in its entirety, congratulations, you win as American of the Year. While you were fact-checking the rest of us were opening a bottle of red to then tune in the last hour for pure entertainment purposes. Both candidates had their passive aggressive pants on but neither had the Presidential hair of the likes of Kennedy or Reagan. My reactions are as follows…
Romney: Jeremy, if you are illegal, you can get a job working at my house.
Me: Your current household staff would never go for that.
Romney: Blah blah blah fast and furious.
Me: We have seven sequels, with five of those starring Ludacris! Is it ever enough?!
Romney: We went to several women’s groups and asked for folks to help. They came back with “binders full of women.”
Me: Binders full of women is something you find in a serial killer’s apartment on a Lifetime movie.
Obama: …I’m talking about getting rid of the criminals, the gang bangers..
Me: Romney will now google “gang bangers” during the next commercial break.
Obama: Can you say that a little louder, Candy?
Me: Judging from her name she is undoubtably from Arkansas and sports a scrunchie on the daily.
Obama: I haven’t looked at my pension. It’s not as big as your’s.
Me: Are we still talking about pensions here?
Me: When is Paul Ryan going to be done doing his P90X video and come give his best pageant wave?
Go vote (early). They give you a sticker.