So Taylor Swift’s new album dropped at midnight last night and I really wanted to stay up and buy it but I fell asleep watching a Real Housewives reunion. Everyone is going on and on about how awesome it is but then again, she kind of drives me crazy. So should I buy it or just read all the Facebook posts about it?
Dear Indecisive Psycho,
Please tell me you stayed up last night because you had taken too many naps that day and really enjoy watching catty, middle-aged women quarrel at expensive parties. Sure, I can understand that. We’ve all been there. Just please don’t tell me you planned on skipping the beauty sleep to legally download new “music” from Swifty… let’s at least pretend to have some semblance of a life.
Now look, Tay Tay is not my favorite, although in all honesty it’s a hate/tolerate relationship with that not-so wild one. I HATE her voice. I TOLERATE her bangs. I HATE her recent obsession with an underage Kennedy and how coincidentally she has started dressing more Jackie O-ish. I TOLERATE her enthusiasm for snagging a Kennedy, I mean come on, who wouldn’t want kids with that hair? I HATE her “You mean I really won this award? Again?! This is such a surprise!” face. I TOLERATE her “You cheated on me so now I will ruin your life while being more successful than you” lyrics.
So yes, buy her album. Ignore that it’s named after a color. I give you my blessing.