777, See You Never.

It’s no secret I’m a closeted Rihanna admirer, despite the fact that she is not so secretly still in love with the criminal cray himself, Chris Brown. So to promote her new album, Unapologetic, BadGirlRiRi embarked on a trip completely planned by DefJam staff in hopes of gaining some good PR….the 777 tour. 7 shows in 7 countries in yep, you guessed it, 7 days. Catchy, I’ll give her team that but HELLO, might want to make sure the main act is up for the challenge before putting 250 uber-fans and quote-hungry journalists on a private jet. It started sweet enough, Rihanna welcoming the lucky ones while wearing her “crunk shades” and pouring “presidential cognac” freely while while walking the aisles of the jet. 
Everyone was flying around Europe together with 70 bottles of champagne and top-notch amenities but not enough time to see much of the cities or fabulous hotels, and no sign of Rihanna herself. Turns out, fans and journalists only saw her onstage, performing the same set with the same chatter in between. Poor Peter Rosenthal from Rolling Stone likened the experience to Groundhog Day, siting lack of sleep and lack of much of anything from Rihanna. Thankfully everyone made it safely back to NYC just in time for Thanksgiving but no one is left feeling all warm and fuzzy. RiRi issued an apology today but I think it’s safe to say the damage is done. So what have we learned here? Don’t agree to a press junket world tour in a week’s time if you don’t want to do press, and always ask yourself, what would Jay-Z do?
p.s. Of course I’m still bitter I wasn’t there for any of the aforementioned shenanigans. Also, don’t eat carbs today, you’ll thank me tomorrow.

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