Sometimes you go to dinner and have a nice quiet meal with friends and sometimes you go to dinner and end up being an extra on ElimiDate.
A few nights ago I was exhausted – publicity is tough – and all I wanted to do was see my friends and eat food. Preferably at a chic/non Las Palmas or Pei Wei place, of course. We ended up at one of my favorite local establishments, no wait, and were seated in the corner next to a couple sitting on the same side of the table and a few drinks in. Now, I didn’t judge these two right away. I assumed this was a first or second date and I assumed they were from Murfreesboro. Mid-30s. He was wearing aviators (yes, indoors, at night) and a hoodie/leather coat combo; she was wearing a red pleather skirt with a fur coat.
I never heard her speak; only giggle. He, like any true douchebag, talked about himself and covered all of the following topics that landed him firmly in the ElimiDate elite:
He knows a lot of songwriters.
He loves LA but is over the scene.
He knows someone who is friends with someone who knows Elton John.
You don’t know that song? (HE THEN PROCEEDED TO SING) *this happened twice
A record company cut him a check for “like seven figures.”
You want to go to Brazil? Let’s go to Brazil. I’ll take you.
He once either rescued small kids in an ocean or taught kids how to swim in an ocean. (muffled)
He’s so glad he met her because she’s so hot.